Random...sort of...

Okay...so I kinda forgot about this place with everything that I have going on at the moment.

Have you fever felt like there should be more to your life, but you can't figure out what it is? I've been feeling like that for a while now. I feel like there's nothing that I can do to make things better for myself.

If somebody would have asked me 5 years ago what I thought I would be doing, this would be far from what I would have thought I would be doing. But I don't think that if everything didn't happen the way it did, I don't think that I would have found how much I love writing and how much it makes me happy to know that what I write affects people. In one of my stories the main character starts a band, so I sent like the first 2 chapters to a friend and because of that she decided that she was going to start a band.

I want to take college classes, but there's no way that I can do it now. I don't have the car to be able to go back and forth from classes. I really want to take classes to help with my writing because there's nothing more than I would like than to publish the book I've been working on actively for the last few months.

Sit And Wait

I picture his face

And my heart starts to race,

Is it bad

For one to get so sad?

There’s nothing wrong

For me to be so attached

To somebody that I long to see?

I see his face

And I fall apart,

What would happen

If I went over and talked to him?

To hear his voice,

Even if it’s just for him to yell.

I let him pass

Without saying a word,

But it’s killing me

Inside.

I need to let him know

That there is nothing

I want to hide.

I watch him walk away

When I couldn’t find

Anything to say,

Even though

I have so many things I’d like to say.

Should I call to him

And have him come back?

Then I sit there

Wondering if I should have done something,

Should I have tried

To make things right?

All the ‘if only’

And the ‘what if’s’

That are going through my head,

I don’t know where to turn.

It’s been years since

I could call him

And be completely truthful.

And what if I miss it?

What if I want to talk to him again?

What would he do if I say something next time?

Maybe I’ll just

Sit and wait.